Ads Used to Be Cool
A Few Fun Examples
Welcome back and thanks for reading! Hope you had a nice Easter. As a reminder, I am on my honeymoon, so I won’t be as active on here. However, I did want to schedule some content ahead of time so as to not leave y’all in the lurch. This is one article I thought would be fun, and have wanted to do for a while. So, though it is nowhere near as much of a deep dive as normal, I hope you enjoy it! These ads always make me chuckle or think of what could have been. As always, please tap the heart button to like this article so Substack knows to promote it. Thanks again!
Ads used to be cool.
That’s not to say all were...“cringe” things have always existed. But whereas now we get the below slop forced on us by the powers that be,1 there used to be some ads that were cool. Whether fun, creative, or offensive (in a good, rather than gross way), they were simply better than what we now have.
So, I’d like to run through some of my favorites, in no particular order other than one I think is fun. Enjoy!
1. Van Heusen Shirts, Pt. 1:
It would be simply impossible to produce this ad today, at least for any mass retailer, but if someone were to do it, I’d buy those Oxford cloth button-downs without a moment’s hesitation. This one cracks me up every time I see it. Van Heusen is still around as a shirt-maker,2 but its advertising is decidedly less cool.
2. Van Heusen Pt. 2: Risqué Edition
While the above is funny because it’s “racist,” the following few are entertainingly risqué. That’s not to say they’re vulgar, in poor taste, or gross, as any modern ad hinting at the same thing would be. But there is an entertaining element of them that is rooted in a caricature of the suggestion of what every man wants — for women to find him attractive. Ads, most of which now feature some combination of specimens from the dysgenic, Bioleninist coalition, are now quite the opposite of that and pretend that drive no longer exists. So, it’s somewhat fun to see relics from when the world was sane(r).
And, best of all, this one combines the elements of the ad with the savage and the risqué one.
3. Gordon’s Gin: Now I Want a Gin and Tonic
Can you think of a single pith helmet depiction you have seen in anything semi-recent — outside of the movie “Zulu” — that isn’t derisive about Europeanness, colonialism, and Western civilization? No.
For much the same reason it’d be impossible to make the Van Heusen ads today, particularly the one with the barbarian, the powers that be refuse to portray anything positive about the old colonial world or the men behind it. But then there’s this wonderful ad for Gordon’s Gin:
4. Some Other Colonial Ads, Particularly From Rhodesia
There is something about the colonial aesthetic that’s just top-notch. The combination of a hostile, tropical wilderness with the best civilization has to offer, the recreation of the frontier and its high stakes in the age of combustion engines, the swagger of pre-Great War Europe3 with the ever-present threat of dire odds — all of it makes for an impeccable, incredible aesthetic. And there are a few ads that capture it quite well:
5. Southern Pride Worldwide
Is it a bit déclassé? Yes.
Is it also fun and unrepentant in all the best ways? Also yes,
There’s something about the South African spirit that was better able to resist the egalitarian impulses4 of race-communist-friendly liberalism.5 That probably gets to the harshness of the environment, the dire odds they’d faced and bested since at least the Battle of Blood River,6 and the pairing of Boer Calvinist sternness with Imperial Anglo swagger and sense of hierarchical superiority. That’s my guess, at least.
Whatever the reason for the spirit, it’s one I can’t help but love, particularly given the close connections between Southern Africa and my beloved Old Dominion.7 So I find this ad quite fun:
6. Travel Used to Be Civilized
One of the most unpleasant places in America is the airport. There are a few small-town exceptions, but the main travel hubs — Atlanta, New York, Chicago, Miami, etc. — are all awful. Atlanta is particularly just terrible.
That’s particularly true given the slovenliness of everyone present. Men and women used to travel in their Sunday best because they wanted to put their best foot forward. Now? Yoga pants, pajama bottoms, hoodie sweatshirts, and similar slovenliness is the name of the game. Pair that with the sorts who play music on their speakerphone in public, and it’s just horrible. But it doesn't have to be that way. Back before civilization died with the egalitarianism of the Cold War, travel was pretty cool, much like ads, and the advertising surrounding it reflected that:
7. Barbour
Now, Barbour makes great jackets but has ridiculous ads.8 However, back in the day, some of their ads were very cool, showing as they do the understated, country style of the company’s offerings. Here are some favorites:
The Spirit of the Age
Those are just a few examples, this is far from exhaustive. (But please leave any other ones you find cool in the comments!) However, I think it captures the spirit of a bygone age. The Western world used to have some swagger, some class, and some self-confidence and the marketing for its products — whether the suave respectability of Barbour country shoot ads or the tongue-in-cheek chauvinism of Van Heusen — tried to capture that.
I quite hope to see such a spirit restored.
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Some on that here:
Contains some real gems.
So “cool” means profoundly racist. Some misogyny thrown in for variety.